Who Am I?

I've noticed quite a few things about myself since I decided to jump into the fantasy world of Avalon with my latest book series. Until then, I had always written about real life issues. When I felt numb, I wrote about cutting. When depressed, I wrote about suicide. Feeling fat; eating disorders.

Until Saving Avalon, my books have always seemed to correspond with however I was currently feeling at the time.

Maybe that's why I am struggling so much with book two.

When I was writing the first book in Saving Avalon, I was struggling to find names for some of my characters, so I turned to my Facebook friends list. In an act of anger, I named a character after someone that was a fairly important part of my life, making this person a horrible character. Since reconciling with the person in real life, I decided maybe I should redeem that character in the book series.

So that's what I decided to do with book two. The first seven chapters are spent attempting to redeem this person, but I have since realized that there is no way the actions this character has taken can be completely made up for in one book. I am going to constantly struggle with attempted to redeem him.

I know I am totally rambling, and probably not making any sense, but I have so much on my mind lately, my words always seem jumbled.

I got so caught up with writing what I thought others would want to read that I got away from writing what I wanted to write. Don't get me wrong, I am not giving up on Saving Avalon, but it is definitely going to be time consuming. Maybe in between books, I will have to write something else.


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