Suicide...

Since I started this blog back in April, I have generally been really good about posting at least twice a week, usually on Tuesday and Thursday.
Until this week.
Thursday was an emotional day for me. A very dear friend of mine committed suicide on August 20, 1998, just six days before I started my freshman year of high school. Does the story sound familiar? It is the person who inspired the First Love series.
I have been hard at work on finishing my Self Inflicted saga, but I will never forget my first books. My heart and soul went in to Summer Love and Autumn Goodbye. I shed too many tears to count while writing them and even more during the editing process.
Suicide is not a solution to any problem.  It may seem like an easy way out, but think of the people that are left behind. How many blame themselves for a loved ones early death? I know i spent many years blaming myself before I realized it wasn't my fault.
Suicide seems to be the topic of all my posts this week, and I assure you, it wasn't intended. Normally when I open my blog on the computer, I don't know what I'm writing until I'm halfway done. Today I wrote an deleted several posts before I gave up. Now I am in bed, typing this on my phone because it has to be said.
Suicide doesn't only affect those who knew the person that decided to end his own life; it affects everyone they know as well. The ripple effect can be horrible. I am unlucky enough to know three young men who decided they had no other options.
If I would have known they would die too soon at their own hands, would I have done anything different? I don't know. Maybe I would have stayed up taking to Wade a little later that night. I would have changed the way my last conversation with Chad ended. Would it have made a difference? That's an answer I will never have...

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